for what it's worth

As I've gotten older and hopefully wiser, I am recognizing the importance and value of good friends and true friendship. I am very blessed to have many friends in my life from all walks of life. You could say that my taste in friends is as eclectic as my taste in animals. Which honestly, minus some rodents, there are not many animals I am unwilling to love... Through Facebook I've reconnected with some long lost friends dating back to elementary school days. This has been so much fun. While I was in the hospital, a sweet friend I've know since kindergarten came to see me. She is as beautiful and fun as she was back then. I really enjoyed catching up with her and appreciated the knowledge she gave me on surgeons and such. It was so great to see you Stef and you'll never know how much it meant to me that you came up. Another friend from high school contacted me via Facebook and sent me a package all the way from Washington state. I have not seen her since graduating but...

I feel like a new person with some sleep finally! I ended up digging an old prescription of Ambien out of the cabinet. I hate using sleeping drugs but I was absolutely desperate!! I think I'm getting back on track now.  What's amazing, with sleep comes energy. Who knew? Feeling like my old self now with exception of getting tired very quickly. That will change though as I continue to improve. Every day this week I've tried to complete at least one task. Monday, I started on the never ending laundry, it's still going. Tuesday, I had plans to hit the grocery store until we got a call to show the house that evening. It was a pig's sty so I spent ALL day putting crap away. We are such slobs, all 4 of us. I did luck out when my friend, who also happens to clean my house, was available to come  deep clean yesterday. I could not have made it with out you Lizard!!! Today I plan to make it to the grocery store, not my favorite thing to do, but highly important to the 2 tee...

At least, that's what I keep telling myself. For the 2nd night in a row, I have not slept at all. I just made coffee, finally giving up and giving in to the day that is fast approaching. This is what my stay in the hospital has done, messed up my sleep pattern. I feel like a newborn who has her days and nights mixed up. Too bad I'm not writing a book. I could have made great headway over the last 48 hours. The author of the next Great American Novel, perhaps... I'm slowly recovering from this bout of UC. All my strength is gone. Laying in bed for close to 2 weeks will zap you quicker than anything. It's going to take a while to bounce back to normal life. Frustration is at it's highest level. I've been asked by several people if I was relieved to leave the hospital with my colon intact. No, I don't believe I am. I know this sounds crazy, but it's been a long 7 years with this damn disease. Removing my colon would cure me. To be quite honest, ...

Dear Friends and Family, The last two days have been a rollercoaster. As many of you know Monday after meeting with the Doctor we met with a surgeon to discuss removing Monnie's Colon. Then we met with a nice lady that would help Monnie learn how to use the colostamy bag.  The surgeon was going to try and get us in this week. Monnie and I discussed over and over and after many stressful tearful discussions decided to go through with it. Then yesterday morning her doc got there early before I could get there and told her that her tests were all coming back more normal than he thought they would be. He wanted to get her an infusion of remicade and have her try to eat solid food, she had not nbeen able to eat, too much pain, since last thursday. She was able to hold down a pb&j last night.  I got there extra early this morning as to not miss doc. if he came in early. I had many questions, thank you Doc for your patience with a stressed out husband. He had reviewe...

Dear Friends and Family, Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. Just wanted to update you all on Monnie's latest. We are still in hospital and we did meet with Monnie's doc who we think a lot of yesterday. We discussed the options of removing the colon or trying to see if the medicine might work in the case that this might be a fluke deal at best case or if the medicine has lost its effectiveness. and removal of colon is necessary. After discussing our options Monnie said she's ready to take the colon out.  We then met with the surgeon he was here within an hour of the doc calling. He seemed like a really good guy and talked with us for a quite a while. Explained the surgery and recovery. Monnie was really kinda gung ho to get on with it. However her doctor came early this morning and wants to give the medicine one more shot. We are waiting to get the treament. WE will just see what happens. No idea of when or if she'll feel better and avoid surgery or...

Hey Friends and family, Monnie is in the hospital and her disease has flared up again.  She has had some rough days. She will not be  eating anything for a few more days probably. She's having a bunch of pain and is pretty nautious.  We will see our doctor tomorrow and learn much more. After meeting with him friday he put her in the hospital and he told us that we should really consider the option of surgery to remove the colon. It is the only cure and this is a horrible painful disease. Most people know very little about this disease and just how debilitating it can be because symptoms can come and go with no warning or rhyme or reason. When the disease is in remission it's almost a normal life except for side affects such as arthritis that strikes monnie every time there is a front come through especially winter time. This article I'm including a link to below explains so much about her disease so if you like please read this article and you will have a much better ...

Friday afternoon Dr. Lusby pulled the trigger and told me to head over to the hospital because I am having a stinkin' UC flare. Room 484 at BSA Hospital in Amarillo is not my idea of a weekend getaway, but here I sit. Or should I say lay? I am stuck in a dang hospital bed wearing plastic labels on both wrists and hooked to an IV bag. I've been poked and prodded, squeezed by a blood pressure cuff and now I have to pee in a "hat" to measure my liquid outflow.  Oh, and a nurse comes in to take vitals every 4 hours, or at least every time I fall asleep anyway. I wish I could say it was a shock but I kinda knew it was coming. I've been having the early signs of a flare for about a month now and this week it jumped up to full fledged flare status. This is not good.  Thursday I had a CAT scan to rule out any other problems which it did. This confirmed that what I am dealing with is a flare of UC. What's a flare of Ulcerative Colitis? Well, basically, the mucous ...

Today has been a yuck day. I'm exhausted and I've done nothing. My colon has been letting me know how unhappy it is at the moment and I can't seem to please it for anything. It's getting old. Remicade is still a few weeks away so why all the crankiness? Weird fact, UCers have more flares in the fall. Fall is just around the corner... You cannot have my summer UC! I'm bloated, crampy and running to the bathroom more than usual. My energy level is next to 0. Could it be something I ate? Can't think of anything that might have set me off... Maybe tomorrow will be better.

"You feel smaller." This is what my hubby said this morning when hugging me in the kitchen. Nice. Really nice, considering he was barely awake and hadn't had his coffee yet. With out even knowing it, he made my day. Our day started very early. Son #2 must be ready to walk out the door at 6 am for football practice which requires an adult to physically drag him from his bed. We've tried alarms, hollering at his room from downstairs and turning on his light but none of these seem effective. He must be completely uncovered and made to sit up and even then there's a 75% chance he will still be asleep. Teen boys can sleep through anything. So back to the early morning-- the hubby is off to work at the ranch and I must get Son #1 up to mow and do other household chores. I'm not up for this battle yet; I need more coffee first. He is a grumpy bear early in the morning or late in the morning. It really doesn't matter, because he would like to sleep until 3 pm....

On Monday I went to Weight Loss Zone to weigh in. Not having real high expectations, I was shocked to see the scale drop 1.4 pounds! That means since March 18 I have lost 14 pounds total! We haven't measured since April when I lost almost 17 inches but I can tell my body is changing shape. My clothes fit different and I can even tell a difference in the mirror. Can't wait to measure again in the next couple of weeks. I am fired up to stay on track now. I think it's what I needed too. After all the laziness of summer and food splurging on vacations, I really figured I had gained. Even though my body is showing signs of progress, my mind was not in a good place. I can now understand how people who suffer from anorexia can look in the mirror and see something totally different from reality. The mind is a powerful weapon, it really can be a battlefield. If your not careful you can listen and believe all sorts of lies from your own head! Fear of failure often keeps me from t...

I cannot believe that I am up right now! I was so very tired and I just knew I would sleep well, but noooo, I wake up at 1:47 AM and now it is 3:33 AM. Really? I have to be up at 6 AM to make sure Thomas is up and ready for football. Tuesday may not be as productive as Monday... The only nice thing about being up in the middle of the night is I've had a very nice, uninterrupted conversation with God. It always amazes me how I can find plenty of time for plenty of meaningless stuff but not enough time for Him. At 38 years of age you'd think I'd be better about this. I love the peace that settles over me when I have this time with God. In this world, we are constantly plugged in and going 90 mph and rarely do we slow down enough to hear what God has to say to us. I am so guilty of prayers on the run, in the car, between commitments and when I'm too tired to focus. Doesn't He deserve more than that? I know He hears those chaotic shout outs too but I don't alway...

And we are up, but not happy about it! Thomas is a bit cranky for two-a-days so watch out Coach Flowers... I'm up after a crappy night's sleep. Every joint and muscle in my body is on fire. One of the perks of not sleeping well. I had plans to hit the gym this morning but now I'm thinking it might be this afternoon. I'll make that decision after coffee. Yesterday, my sister had her 3rd baby! A little girl, Rachel Jane. Rachel joins big sis Kate (16 mo) and big bro Elias (3 yrs).  Can you say sleep deprived? I guess I shouldn't complain. I cannot wait to meet this little girl. It's so fun having nieces after my two stinky boys. We now have 3 nieces and 3 nephews between our two families. It makes Christmas so fun! I'm really wanting our house to sell so we can go back to our slobby ways. This having to keep it nice and pretty all the time is killing me! I am, however, enjoying the pool with this heat. It's the only moisture around... My 20th hig...