for what it's worth

Saw my GI Doc a few days ago, first time in SIX MONTHS. Yep, I'm pretty proud of that little fact there. When he walked in he said he hardly recognized me because I look so much healthier. And thinner too--he said I looked skinny! Oh, and younger, like 10 years younger! He's my new BFF. I must have looked like a hag before... My only complaint this visit was energy. I seem to run out of energy very fast. I'm doing all the right things--diet, exercise, sleep but I'm still struggling. We decided on B12 shots because all my blood panels look healthy and normal. With ostomies, especially ileostomies, the body doesn't always have time to absorb all the vitamins and nutrients it needs before food exits the body. The colon sort of acts like a sponge for normal people. It absorbs water your body needs as well as any minerals and vitamins that weren't absorbed during digestion. That means us colon-less people have to be super careful with hydration and nutrition. B...

So... I totally missed the whole Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge  by Wego Health... this is just par for the month I'm having. What day did I get to? Day 3? Obviously, it was too challenging for me. I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't able to keep up because I know I would have enjoyed it. Maybe next year. Oh well. Another challenge I am currently struggling with: exercise. I haven't been able to run outside because our weather here, how shall I put this... SUCKS. Yep, that sums it up nicely. I prefer to run outside, to be in the sunshine, to breathe fresh air. The last few months have been horribly windy, which stirs up the dirt, which gets in my eyes, nose, mouth and every single pore on my body. I loathe these days. Oh, for those of you not from around here--the wind blows nonstop in the spring, I'm talking minimum of 20mph to 40mph and even on not so rare occasions-- 60mph and higher. It's darn near impossible to walk to your car, let al...

It's Thursday. Race day is Sunday. I feel like I've lived a lifetime since Monday. Over the past few weeks I've been struggling with depression. I'm talking about the chemical imbalance of serotonin in the brain. I don't know all the medical jargon but I can tell you this: I do not produce enough of it on my own. I need medication to keep those serotonin babies rockin'. About 3 months ago my doc took me off Cymbalta (antidepressant) because he felt it was too strong now that I am doing well and cured of UC. He was right too, my energy returned and my head didn't seem foggy. He told me to pay attention to my body and come back if I started having signs of depression again. Well, I've just been going along and not paying any attention and this just really snuck up on me. Of course, if I look back over the last month I see that I've been slowly declining. My hubby's been complaining that I've retreated into myself. He's right, that...

This is me, post 2012 Turkey Trot 5 mile Race. Yes, I'm a smiling goofball. So happy to have crossed the finish line! It was CRAZY  with hills!! I thought I'd die from those hills! They felt more like mountains to this flatland Panhandle girl! I managed to run the race with 20,000+ other people and averaged about a 12 minute mile. I had to really push through those hills and ended up "power walking" most of the uphill portions. I crossed the finish line at 1:02. It's not fast by any means but it isn't too bad either. It was a total adrenaline rush! I loved being in the middle of all these people striving for the same goal. So many people with varying skill levels and different walks of life coming together to complete a singular task, to cross a finish line. Such fun! These guys here, ------------------------------------> were my running buddies. Ben (with the beard) is my bro-n-law and his friend Adam is the other guy. Adam left us in the dus...

I recently had the privilege of trying out a new product from  Awestomy.com  and have to say--I LOVE IT! My product of choice:   women's wrap  in the pink polka dot. FIT: The cut is very form fitting with the hip part flaring a bit from the waist. I like this as I am a bit of an hourglass shape. I ordered a large and it fit wonderfully. When I first took it out of the package, I thought for sure it was too small. I almost sent it back with out trying it on. (Girls, you know how depressing it can be to try to shove yourself into something too small...) But, I gathered my courage and decided I would take one for the team and what do you know! It fit! Perfectly! I was so very pleased with the way it formed to my body.  MATERIAL & DETAIL:  The material is much like that of a swimsuit. It's a nice weight with out being bulky. It lays against the body with out bulging. There is a "stay" band along the top that keeps the wrap from sliding down as you are...

Today was my first attempt at running 60 continuous minutes. All I can say is that I'm glad it's over. My running partner and I decided to meet in Amarillo at Medi-Park. A lovely little park in the hospital district that has a sidewalk winding around a little lake. It's a very beautiful place out here in the flatlands of the panhandle and it even has some elevation changes in it too. There are tons of ducks, geese and even a couple of swans to feed if you so desire. There is a nice playground located at one point as well so the park is always busy with people and kids. Lots of walkers and runners making use of the grounds too. So back to the run-- We are making our way down the sidewalk about 10 minutes or so in to the run when my foot catches on a crack in the sidewalk... Grace is not my middle name and I proved it here. I pitch forward with my whole body. Bracing myself for the fall, I throw my right hand in front of me and catch the ground with my palm as my right ...

(left) my running partner Stacy (top right) good friends with a cause (bottom right) my ostomy bag for race day: A strong person is not the one who doesn't cry. A strong person is the one who cries & sheds tears then gets up and fights again. 38 minutes is what it took for me to run my first ever 5K.  *sigh*   I did it! I RAN IT! The whole way! The first 10 minutes were the hardest. My legs were screaming and whining, throwing a full on tantrum trying to get me to quit but I didn't. I just kept going and soon they got with the program and pushed through right to the end. The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure holds this personal victory for me. Breast Cancer is a cause close to my heart. Between my own family and several of my friends, I could have filled up several "Running For" bibs with their names. I would've run out of body to pin the bibs to so I chose not to wear one. However, the one person who always comes to mind when breast cancer is the topic i...

YAY!!! That's right, I'm celebrating because it's Thursday evening and that means I am one day closer to the finish line of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K on Saturday morning. Which really means--I can have my usual weekend wine treat again! I've been "training" for this little 3 mile jaunt like it's a freaking Ironman. It's the only way that I could wrap my mind around it. I have to be serious about the training or I'll not be happy with myself come race day when I'm dragging along the curb and shooing the paramedics away. Plus, I really, really want to be in shape. In this day of instant gratification, it's easy to forget that it takes time to meet goals. And in order to keep the goal in sight, dedication through thick and thin is a must. When I was finally released from "taking it easy" in March from my December surgery, I made a goal to be the healthiest I could be by the time I turned 40. Well, 40 is right arou...

I feel totally vindicated now. :) This morning's run was hard. 3 miles, outside, in the wind, with hills! BUT--I did it!! * happy dance*  I ran the whole time with exception of 2 minutes where I walked up the steepest of the hills on the route. I was about to give up and walk the last 2 minutes of the workout as I had turned into the wind and was going up a slight incline when a new song on my playlist started. Chasing The Sun  by The Wanted blared into my ears and gave me the push I needed to keep going. I stayed the course and finished my run huffing and puffing and throwing a few choice words at the dang wind and hills for screwing with my head. I did it.  My running partner is always so encouraging. I love her like a sister and might not have stayed this committed if we weren't scheduled to run together twice a week. A shared goal has kept us both accountable and motivated. This has been a huge blessing for me. Someone to keep pushing me when I want to quit an...

Nicki Minaj isn't the only one with alarm issues. I wanted to set fire to that dang alarm clock this morning but parental duties call. So, I'm up and drinking my cup of joe. Kids are off to school and the laundry and other chores are staring at me with judgement as I flip through the photos from last night's Emmy's on People.com. I like to think I could pull off a few of those dresses but honestly, if I could--where would I wear it to? Friday night's Homecoming game? Wouldn't I look great sitting in the bleachers with 14 billion dollars of jewelry on... Never mind the fact that I would need to run from here to sunny Cali in order to fit in one, maybe... These people can't weigh more than a handful of grapes put together! Day dreaming is over. Let Monday commence. I'm running today with my friend who talked me into a half marathon in December. I say "talked" but truthfully, she asked if I'd be interested in running it with her and I jumpe...

I have been too busy during the day to blog and too tired when I finally sit down in the evening. I woke up at 5:30 today feeling well rested so, after throwing some chicken in the crock pot and having my (much loved) first cup of coffee I thought I'd type a little. I really miss blogging on the days that are too crazy to whip out a few sentences. It helps keep me grounded and my mind moving forward. I have stacks of diaries and journals dating back to 1981 when I was given my first diary by my grandmother. I miss her. She was a remarkable woman and very beautiful both inside and out. She passed away, not long ago, after suffering from several years of Alzheimer's. I HATE this disease. It has wound it's way through this side of my family for many generations, probably more than we even know. Her mother suffered from it as well as each of her siblings. It is so very hard to watch this ugly disease take someone you love dearly and turn them into a complete stranger. That...

Saw my GI doc on Thursday. Great visit. He got a kick out of the pouch I wore for him. This one is named "Superostomy!" He calmed many of my fears and answered lots of questions that had been rattling around in my head. He decided to take me off Cymbalta, the antidepressant I'd been on since before the ileostomy. I've been feeling mushy brained for several months and he believes Cymbalta is too strong now. This is a huge turn around, usually, we were upping the antidepressants because they weren't strong enough. So now, he has prescribed Gabapentin. It's supposed to help with nerve pain which I still struggle with. I think I have nerve damage fro the UC. Two days on it now and I am already thinking clearer and pain seems to be somewhat controllable too. The hubs says he notices a big difference already too. AND, I am sleeping through the night. I have not slept through the night since surgery; actually, long before that too. Before surgery, I was up a...

One more day, one more day, one more day... This is my chant as I attack today. This week has been very busy but good. Today holds several events that will make Friday a great day, a day to end this long week. Today is my first 20 minute nonstop run outside. That means jogging the whole 20 minutes. Yes, you probably do not need this explained; I, however, am still trying to psyche myself up for it. I know I could do it on the treadmill with no problem but, I really need to run it outside. I'm "in training" for some running events over the next few months. The first is a 5K, Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on September 29th. I want to run the whole thing...we shall see. Then, there is another 5K in November and finally, a 1/2 marathon in December. 13.1 miles on December 9th in Dallas. I'm scared and excited. I don't care about times, I just want to complete the runs. (Notice I said run and not race--more mental tricks to keep myself committed.) I just want t...

This girl has a list a mile long of goals to accomplish. Some are silly, some are a little weird and a few are very lofty, but they are still list worthy. I haven't made a list of goals in a very long, long time. At least not seriously. Making a list seemed pointless and often ended in disappointment when I couldn't get out of bed for days on end. A list was like an anvil hanging over my head, waiting to catch me unaware. I have yet to put this lengthy list on paper. Seeing it only in my mind right now is enough. Somehow, having it written in black and white, tangible to others is a bit intimidating. For now, it is enough to tick through it in my mind's eye. I think I'm worried that I will jinx this new found disease-free life I am leading. It seems too good to be true. Too many years spent in agonizing pain has left it's mark on my psyche. I am constantly reminding myself that sore muscles from exercise is NOT the same as disease inflicted pain. Some days are...

Two step forwards, one step back. This seems to be the theme of  my running this week. Yesterday, I couldn't have run if I'd even wanted to, and I didn't want to. I didn't even want to see my running shoes. Every part of my body hurt, ached like the flu. I had no choice but to sit yesterday out and rest. I was so lazy and it was wonderful. This morning however, was tough. The run started really good. I had a good pace and made it through the first 6 minutes with out any problems. I walked for 1 minute then back to running. This did not go as smoothly. I was running my usual stride but then started struggling around minute 3. My breath was coming hard and my speed was slowing down. I just went with it, determined not to stop running and kept moving even at a slower rate. Finally, the ding for the 1 minute walk sounded. Gasping for air, I kept moving forward. *DING* Time to run again for another 6 minutes. I didn't make the whole 6 this time. I ran as long as I coul...

This morning, I downloaded some new tunage specifically for running. I read an article in Runner's World  magazine about pacing your run and how music set to certain a BPM (Beats Per Minute) can help. This isn't exactly breaking news; however, I needed some extra umph this morning and this was it. Nothing, and I mean, NOTHING gets me moving better than some great butt busting music. Wow! I flew through my run this morning. The music is continuous so the songs go from one into the next allowing your pace to stay constant. I didn't realize how beneficial this could be. My momentum never wavered at all! I'm hoping this is not a fluke deal but more of how I will continue to run. The hubs and I are trying out a new protein shake by Herbalife. I really like these products. The ones I'm most excited about, other than the nutritional shakes, are the Aloe juice which aids in digestion and a re-hydrating powder that mixes with water to help with dehydration issues. Peop...

I am woman hear me roar!! Yes, it's Monday and, it's 9:30 and, I've been for a run and, I've got the laundry going and, I set out meat for dinner! I'm on a roll! Whoop whoop! Today's run was my usual 30+ minutes but this time I added a little elevation change. Holy crap!! I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not but, at some point my legs went numb. I think my mind just flipped a switch so I could make it through the workout. When I got up this morning, at what felt like the crack of dawn, I thought there was no possible way I could get myself into my runners and out the door. I took it slow, had some coffee and breakfast and stared into space for a while. Eventually, I did it though. I pushed through the haze of wanting to crawl back in bed and put my athletic bra on instead. I am convinced athletic wear, bras in particular, are made by Satan. For more motivation, I changed into my "Super Girl" ostomy wear. These are smaller, closed ende...

Sometimes a good run equals a good cry. Today, I ran for over an hour. Well actually I walked some too but I ran farther and longer than I have in many, many years. There was a lot of static in my head today. I was having a tough time staying focused on what needed to be done today. Maybe it's a girl thing, but my emotions seemed to be all over the place and with no real reason. My solution to this was to lace up the running shoes and head out to pound the pavement. I knew the fresh air would do me good and I hoped the exertion would help me clear out the static. I usually only run for about 30 minutes; it's all my endurance seems to handle right now. I'm also a little conservative when running outside because of the whole heat exhaustion thing. Today was different though. The weather was cooler and there was a light breeze to help me stay cool. I made it through my usual 30 minutes in no time and realized I still wanted more. Needed more. So, I kept going. With out any t...