A Not So OK Day is OK

This month has been filled with lots not so OK days. I've struggled with chronic pain, achy joints, abdominal cramping, nausea and extreme fatigue.

Here's an example of my not so OK day today:
  • Struggled with insomnia last night so I got about 5 hours of sleep total but not all at once.
  • Tummy cramps and nausea awoke me this morning.
  • I lay in bed for about 30 minutes willing myself to get up but afraid the nausea might win.
  • Took the handful of prescribed meds, vitamins and minerals needed to make my body function. Also added anti-cramping and nausea meds to the cocktail (not pictured).
  • Ate a small gut friendly breakfast (not because I'm hungry--trust me, I'm not--but because the meds need it) and my 1 cup of coffee (more than 1 cup = more cramping + nausea).
  • Sat in my comfy chair and caught up on social media and reviewed today's TO DO list to figure out what MUST be done today and what can be postponed. This may seem a bit lazy to most however, it is my way of adulting with chronic illness. Plus I need those meds to kick in so I can stand up and move with out hurling!
  • Battle brain fog with my favorite product GREENS on the go! 
  • Start the essential oils diffuser because smell is everything when nausea is on board. 
  • Finally make it to my desk 2 hours after getting up (still in pajamas) and stare at computer for 10 minutes trying to figure out where to start.
  • Look longingly at my sleeping animals and soak in the sun coming from my window.
  • Remember I must be an adult today for few hours anyway. 
I probably won't get out of my pajamas today which means I probably won't be leaving the house. If I must venture out, it will be a leggings-hat-no makeup kind of day except maybe some lipstick because lipstick makes everything better. If you see me I will smile and do my best to chat for a minute and probably gloss over how I'm feeling because I don't want to focus on how crappy I actually am at the moment. I've been accused of not being as sick as I say I am because of this. I just have to shrug that off or it has potential to flare up my temper. I hate that in order to believed by some I must publicly display all my symptoms all the time. 
How fun would that be to hang out with? 
See, the thing is I have Crohn's but I AM NOT CROHN'S. This damn disease seeks to rule my every day and I refuse to let it. It's nearly killed me on several occasions and there have been times I considered, like really considered, tapping out and letting it win. I can't though, it's not in my nature to give up easily. It's pure stubbornness and complete competitiveness that keeps me in the fight on some days. I love my kids, I love my family and I actually love my life even with these struggles. 
I'm OK with a not so OK day. I'm even OK with a really bad not so OK day. I have to approach life with the attitude that some things just suck. I can recognize that life is hard and unfair. I choose to see the sun shine despite the clouds. I am OK no matter the level of OKness of the day.

Comments

  1. JamiJanuary 23, 2018 at 2:38 PM

    Love you. Sorry you hurt. I'm about to go back to bed myself. Ugh. But if you need anything ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJanuary 25, 2018 at 2:41 AM

    Hang in there! You are an extremely strong woman of God and most people I know would have given up with less than half of what you have faced head on and pushed through! Speak healing to your body daily in the name of Jesus! And keep eating clean and doing what you know to do. You are an inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownFebruary 27, 2018 at 8:25 PM

    I used to have many days like this. God sent me a tree (like the one in Ezekiel 47) and I am about 95% symptom free now. I was reading your blog looking for an eo pleurisy remedy (cracked rib that is healing but all over ribcage pain is worsening), and then saw this one. If you are interested in learning more email me at Metamorphucoach@gmail.com I can so related to not so okay days...and am so thankful they are memories instead of ongoing experiences. My passion is to help others do the same. ~Dee Dee

    ReplyDelete

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