for what it's worth

I've tried so many times to blog over the last few weeks but just couldn't seem to find the words.  I'm struggling even now. This post may be a bit choppy as I try to find my rhythm again... It's been 5 weeks since my surgery; I've only been home for 3 of those. The first 2 were pretty rough. Hours were being watched closely until the next dose of pain meds could be taken and sleep took up most of the time. This is, by far, the hardest surgery I've ever gone through. It's taken a toll on my body reducing my strength and endurance to zero percent. I've lost 27 pounds and most of my muscle mass. I am puny. If I stand or walk too long my legs begin to shake. If I walk too far, I'm out of breath. After showering, I need to sit down to recoup for 10-20 minutes. I still can't eat very much after 13 days of not eating in the hospital. To say that I'm frustrated would be an understatement. Mentally, I am ready to get back to life but my body is j