Showing posts from January, 2015

What Happens?

What happens when you loose the will to fight?

I find myself in a very dark and foreign place. This constant battle of trying to be healthy is wearing me down. My spirit is crushed and my confidence is gone. Would it be so bad to give up and let illness take it's victory? 
How much more can my family take? I see the strain on them, the chaos it causes. The disruption to our daily schedules. I hate it.
What would happen if I didn't fight next time? If I bowed out gracefully and said I'm done? Would it make things better or worse? Surely, in the end, all would adjust and move forward...
These are the questions running through my head. I'm being point blank honest here. I am tired. I am ready to be done with this invisible illness that wrecks havoc on our lives. 
I don't know if I have the strength to go through all of this again. And there will be a next time. If anything is a sure bet, that is it- there will be a next time.
What happened to that girl who was so stro…