in a funk...

Do you ever do this?

I have been in a funk for about a month now. Can't seem to get motivated or accomplish anything. Couldn't even blog! My house is a pig sty, I'm behind in the laundry and if it weren't for the kids, the dishes would over take the kitchen.

I'm letting it all hang out in hopes that someone else can relate...

I'm tired all the time yet I don't sleep very well. Frustrated beyond frustrated. Starting to wonder if my meds are working. I have managed, somehow, to keep working out. I feel great for a while and then I crash HARD. Now, my colon seems to be joining the unhappy forces and has made it's self know the last couple of days.

So what now?

Do I try to push through and hope things will take a turn for the better? Or, do I call the doc and start tweaking my meds (which I loathe)? The thought of making a decision here is slightly overwhelming.

When I go through this funk, it's very hard on Shannon. He tries so hard to be patient and understanding with me. He wants to help and offers very good advice but I know he gets frustrated when I can't seem to follow through. He is why I recognize the funk for what it is and am willing to do what ever it takes to get through it. I envy his dedication and self motivation. He really is my hero. Life with out him would be so very dark.

Please don't misunderstand, I LOVE my life and my family. I want for nothing, absolutely nothing. Well, maybe for Christ's return but as for the here and now--I have all I need and more than I could ever ask for. As my doc explained to me, people with UC seem to suffer depression more than other autoimmune disease patients. I have to be willing to see this as a symptom of the stupid disease and not a personal flaw. If you have ever dealt with depression then you know--it's the hardest fight to keep things in perspective during a funk. I have to look at it very clinically. I have a mental check list I go through when I realize I'm not quite myself. This helps me keep some of my sanity and spurs me to take action when I don't want to.

I will give this funk a few more days to work out the kinks before I call the doc; but meanwhile, I'll be giving my spiritual life a real work out!

Comments

  1. Oh Honey!! I can relate COMPLETELY!! My advice...take it one day at a time and rest. Give it another week or so and don't fret! Always remember that our heavenly Father knows all about this. I will be praying for you!

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