I'm OK with that.

Maybe it's being on this side of 40 but, I have come to realize that there are things in life that are just fine by me. While down and out this weekend with a lovely virus I did a little introspection.

1. I want to be healthy and fit. By this statement, I do not mean cover of a fitness magazine healthy and fit.
      I'm going to take care of myself. I will try to eat right, drink lots of water and exercise regularly. I'll exercise when I can and not lose sleep over when I can't.
      I won't guilt myself out of the occasional dessert or berate myself for the venti hazelnut latte with whole milk either. I will enjoy the moments life gives us to celebrate.
      I won't weigh myself everyday or compare the size of my thighs with Miranda Kerr's. (Besides, she'd lose if we went on the larger number and I'd hate to give her a complex.) On that note, my thighs and rear end may not be firm enough to bounce a coin off of and neither will my abs.
      I won't be rocking a bikini on the beach and not because I'm trying to hide my un-flawless body either. I have a battlefield of scars on my tummy from numerous surgeries. I have an ostomy bag on the right side of my abdomen. I have some excess weight from years of steroids and lack of muscle from being sliced and diced. I have wiggly-jiggly thighs and a rear that's significant in size. The stretch marks that reside around my middle are there because I gave life to 2 amazing young men. They are the tattoos of motherhood. I will be wearing a tankini with a mom-skirt because I feel comfortable that way. I want to have fun at the beach and not worry about what I'm wearing.

And you know what, I'm OK with that.

2. The home is where the heart is. Absolutely true. Mine won't be a feature in any magazine there either but it will be filled with people I love and stuff that makes us happy.
      My floors could possibly be sticky and you might discover a few Cheetos in the couch. There's dog hair and shoes and probably laundry on the furniture. The throw pillows are often used as TV trays when they aren't thrown on the floor and the stains will prove it.
      We live out of the dryer and the dishwasher. There's always some half-done project covering the dining room table. There's a good bet that something in the fridge is out of date too.
      Our beds aren't made daily or even weekly sometimes. If you venture into our room I can guarantee there's gonna be a pair of undies on the floor somewhere.
      Company is always welcome, just don't open the closets because that's where I'm hiding stuff. We are always down to do something fun instead of chores. Let's face it--great memories aren't made while doing chores.
      My house may be messy (I do try to keep the dirt at bay) but it's where we live. It's comfortable and welcoming and full of love.

I'm OK with that too.

3. Life is short and it should be enjoyed.
      I have a limited amount of energy due to the autoimmune crap so I will limit the demands on my time and energy. I'm not the mom who will volunteer for everything or be at the school every time the doors are open. Same goes with church stuff.  I wish I could, but I just don't have that kind of stamina. I have to conserve it or my family will suffer.
      Spontaneity makes for some great times and memories. I will not hesitate to jump in the car or leave the dishes in the sink for a good time with family and friends.
      I'm drawing the line with petty drama. It'll piss a few people off but I'm not going to give it a second thought. You can't please all of the people all of the time.
      I won't dwell on mistakes. I'll just focus on what can be learned and move forward. The past will not dictate my future.
      I may not make much of a mark on society but that's fine. As long as my family is healthy and happy, it's enough for me.

And yes, I'm OK with that.




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