for what it's worth

This is how I feel about turning 40! It's my last day of being 39. I have never looked forward to a birthday so much. Well, except maybe the monumental one of my youth, but I have to tell ya, 40 looks pretty darn good to me. For the first time in probably 10-12 years I feel healthy. Even before the Ulcerative Colitis diagnosis in 2004, my health was a constant roller coaster. I've seen more doctors and specialist than the average person under the age of 40.  Turning 40 is a major mile marker for anyone. It signifies the beginning of midlife. Adulthood is in full swing and there is no denying it at 40.  I don't plan on having the traditional midlife crisis now but, I do intend to live everyday abundantly. Life is short. I've come to realize this not just by my own close call with death, but by experiencing the loss of many special friends and family who died way too young. As far as I can tell, the years keep getting better and I plan to enjoy each new day in ...

Good Morning. I am sitting here drinking my coffee and gazing out the window at a snow covered world. A light dusting was predicted but it's more like a cake frosting out there with an occasional drift or two. It's beautiful. Cold but beautiful. We just got our Internet up and running after 3 weeks of being "unplugged" and it's nice to be back online again. You have no idea how attached to the Internet you are until it is unavailable! When we first moved in we were using a satellite provider--BIG mistake. It was like going back in time to dial up, most miserable, but we are back on fiber optic cable so all is well. We moved my Grammy into an assisted living joint this past weekend. It was full of emotion, both happy and sad. She is 94 and had been living in her own home by herself up until the big move. We are so fortunate that she is so healthy for a woman of her age. She uses a walker but that's about the extent of it. She is still very sharp and has a m...

No, this is not a review of the movie by Judd Apatow. This is just my thoughts on turning 40. Now, I realize I am not the first person to cross this mile marker of age. Many people have gone before me and lived to tell about it and I'm sure, many will follow me "over the hill" of the dreaded number 40. With this birthday looming in front of me (about 1 month), I can't help but do some analyzing of myself and my life.         Am I where I hoped I'd be?         Have I checked things of the proverbial Bucket List?         Do I need some "work" done? --kidding! :) What is it about turning 40 that make us question who we are? You know what I mean... Even if you are completely secure in yourself, there is something about a monumental birthday that has you thinking about life and choices. Since I am staring 40 in the face, I decided to list some of the things I have experienced over the years. 1. Family: Growing up in a...

There is nothing like the New Year to make a person reflect on the past and look to the future with hope and excitement. I am no different. Say what you will, I know it's cliche, but I really do enjoy this process. I like thinking of how I can be better in the coming year and what goals I would like to set. I find I put more stock in my priorities this time of year and remember why I do so. I think it's healthy mentally to do some sort of check list each year. I tend to be a little skeptical of mass postings on Facebook, never knowing if there is any truth to them or if it is truly the words of the named author. I ran across these two posts and though I can't verify their authenticity, I find them well written and very profound. I believe there is truth in each of the articles and can relate to much of them. The first is a posting by a columnist, Regina Brett, who wrote for a Cleveland, Ohio paper. A quick Google search confirmed that both  The Plain Dealer Newspaper a...

Who knew that at 39 and sporting an ileostomy I would become a calendar pin up girl! 2013 Ostomy Calendar by Hollister Just call me Miss July...

As I sit here watching the sun rise, I am reflecting over this year. Since we all made it through the Mayan calendar cliffhanger, I decided to post about a year of survival. 2012 has held many obstacles and it's not quite over yet; we still have to witness the famed ball dropping in order to ring in 2013. Today, one year ago--December 23, 2011, I was released from the hospital to come home. This was very unexpected as I was in bad shape having just survived surgery #3 (removal of my rectum), medication overdose which lead to my near death experience (stopped breathing 3 times) and an infection in the wound site. Even after all this and needing home health care too, I was going home to spend the holidays with my family. It was what I needed in order to survive this horrible ordeal. I needed my home. My home filled with my family (and my own bed, to be honest) and my animals. I needed to be surrounded by their love so that I could heal and begin to live again. In late January 2...

It's Thursday. Race day is Sunday. I feel like I've lived a lifetime since Monday. Over the past few weeks I've been struggling with depression. I'm talking about the chemical imbalance of serotonin in the brain. I don't know all the medical jargon but I can tell you this: I do not produce enough of it on my own. I need medication to keep those serotonin babies rockin'. About 3 months ago my doc took me off Cymbalta (antidepressant) because he felt it was too strong now that I am doing well and cured of UC. He was right too, my energy returned and my head didn't seem foggy. He told me to pay attention to my body and come back if I started having signs of depression again. Well, I've just been going along and not paying any attention and this just really snuck up on me. Of course, if I look back over the last month I see that I've been slowly declining. My hubby's been complaining that I've retreated into myself. He's right, that...