A Year of Survival
As I sit here watching the sun rise, I am reflecting over this year. Since we all made it through the Mayan calendar cliffhanger, I decided to post about a year of survival.
2012 has held many obstacles and it's not quite over yet; we still have to witness the famed ball dropping in order to ring in 2013.
Today, one year ago--December 23, 2011, I was released from the hospital to come home. This was very unexpected as I was in bad shape having just survived surgery #3 (removal of my rectum), medication overdose which lead to my near death experience (stopped breathing 3 times) and an infection in the wound site. Even after all this and needing home health care too, I was going home to spend the holidays with my family. It was what I needed in order to survive this horrible ordeal. I needed my home. My home filled with my family (and my own bed, to be honest) and my animals. I needed to be surrounded by their love so that I could heal and begin to live again.
In late January 2012, my home health care finally came to an end and I was able to venture out of the house and back into the real world. It was terribly slow going but it was still progress. Pain from the surgery was easing up allowing me more energy.
February 8, 2012 I celebrated my 39th birthday! I have never been so happy to celebrate a birthday since I was a kid! I didn't think I'd survive 38.
March came and brought my full release from the surgeon to begin an active lifestyle again. Music to my ears. My energy and stamina were still very low but I was determined to keep moving forward.
April and May kept me busy learning how my new "normal" would be now that I was completely healed from 3 surgeries. I was slowly getting the hang of life with an ileostomy and could finally go somewhere with out fear of an emergency bathroom run.
June came along and I began running. Let me rephrase that--I began wanting to run. I started very, very, very slow. I experienced quite a bit of pain from the my surgical sites as the tissues and scars dealt with this new strain and movement but, I did not stop. I kept going, no matter how slow--I was determined to run again.
We also moved out of our home of 11 years in June. This was a very exciting adventure! I love moving (call me crazy) and the prospect of a new home was exhilarating. I could not wait to leave this house filled with years of physical pain and illness behind me and start over. We moved into a little rent house in town (we were in the country before) and I enjoyed running through the neighborhood. It's in this little house where I really began to thrive. Running became easier and my distances and times improved. Life was beginning to feel normal again.
In July, we headed to Mexico for my first beach vacation. It was something I dreamed about while laying in that hospital bed with wires and tubes attached to my body. I imagined the oxygen that was pumping into my nose was the fresh salty breeze of the ocean. Shannon kept telling me: "As soon as you're able, we will go wherever you want and celebrate living!" I held onto this promise and now it was going to be a reality. It was awesome, just plain awesome to lay in the sand and feel the ocean mist on my weary soul.
We started building our new home right before leaving for Mexico. Another amazing and exciting adventure that would carry us through to December.
Late July came and we decided to load up the kids and drive across the country from Texas to Washington state down to California and back to Texas again. It was a crazy, fun filled, long road trip with memories that will last a lifetime.
Early August found us preparing for school. Erik started his final year of high school and Thomas began his sophomore year.
My days started with running as I continued to work on my strength and endurance. This was my sole purpose, to be healthy and energetic again. I was slowly regaining my energy and stamina when a friend called and asked if we could run together. She had recently quit her job and wanted to start running. She also had a goal, to run a half marathon. At the time, I thought that was so great and was just excited to have a running buddy, I never thought I would actually share her goal. It just seemed too far out there for me. We began running together twice a week and I loved it! This helped me tremendously, when I doubted I could keep going she was always there in front of me, giving me the motivation not to stop.
September 2012, I ran my first 5K. I cried as I crossed the finish line. It marked a return of life. It was also the one year anniversary of my ileostomy. I finally felt like I was whole again.
October came and I signed up for the White Rock Dallas 1/2 marathon to be held on December 9th, 2012. My running partner's goal had become my own.
November took us to Austin for Thanksgiving and I ran the 5 mile Turkey Trot. It was so much fun. This running thing was becoming more and more of a passion. We spent a few days with Shannon's family and enjoying the beautiful hill country.
December 2012 is here. This is a big month. I have managed to thrive through a full year of firsts since my surgeries. Now it's time to run 13.1 miles. December 9th came and my running partner and I found ourselves standing in the starting line corrals of the marathon in downtown Dallas. Excitement and fear surged through me. The gun went off and we moved forward to complete a goal set months before.
13.1 miles is a freakin' long way to run! What was I thinking? Holy. Cow. Well, I had lots of time to think as I put one foot in front of the other. When I passed mile marker 7, I was no longer having fun. It was just hard. I had started walking a few minutes in between running around mile 6. Miles 8 and 9 were more walking than running and by mile 10 I was just flat out walking. Whenever I would get discouraged I would think about where I was a year ago. This helped me keep moving forward towards that finish line. Around mile 12, Shannon was waiting for me. This was a welcome sight and helped me to keep going. He walked with me for about 1/2 a mile and gave me the encouragement I desperately needed to start running again as the finish line came into focus. I ran across the finish line after 3 hours and 13 minutes. As I crossed that line my friend was waiting for me. We hugged and cried and held up our medals in victory.
It was a victory in so many areas. I was alive. I survived my first year after a very long 8 year battle of disease which lead to 27 total days spent in the hospital in 2012 complete with 3 surgeries and one very close call with death.
I am doing something that I once thought impossible. I am living disease free! I am able to be spontaneous again. I can go somewhere and not spend the majority of it running to the bathroom. I wake up feeling good. The only pain I feel is self induced by exercise.
When we came home from Dallas on Monday we moved into our now finished brand new home! Another accomplishment of 2012.
We will celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior over the next few days and I will cherish every bit of it. Between family, friends and all the food, my mind will never be far from the blessing of survival that HE brought me through.
2013 holds the promise of our oldest son's high school graduation and start of college and son #2 wearing himself (and us) out with school sports. The hubs and I will enjoy each new moment and challenge to come because we know, things could be very different.
Merry CHRISTmas and God bless you in 2013.
2012 has held many obstacles and it's not quite over yet; we still have to witness the famed ball dropping in order to ring in 2013.
Today, one year ago--December 23, 2011, I was released from the hospital to come home. This was very unexpected as I was in bad shape having just survived surgery #3 (removal of my rectum), medication overdose which lead to my near death experience (stopped breathing 3 times) and an infection in the wound site. Even after all this and needing home health care too, I was going home to spend the holidays with my family. It was what I needed in order to survive this horrible ordeal. I needed my home. My home filled with my family (and my own bed, to be honest) and my animals. I needed to be surrounded by their love so that I could heal and begin to live again.
In late January 2012, my home health care finally came to an end and I was able to venture out of the house and back into the real world. It was terribly slow going but it was still progress. Pain from the surgery was easing up allowing me more energy.
February 8, 2012 I celebrated my 39th birthday! I have never been so happy to celebrate a birthday since I was a kid! I didn't think I'd survive 38.
March came and brought my full release from the surgeon to begin an active lifestyle again. Music to my ears. My energy and stamina were still very low but I was determined to keep moving forward.
April and May kept me busy learning how my new "normal" would be now that I was completely healed from 3 surgeries. I was slowly getting the hang of life with an ileostomy and could finally go somewhere with out fear of an emergency bathroom run.
June came along and I began running. Let me rephrase that--I began wanting to run. I started very, very, very slow. I experienced quite a bit of pain from the my surgical sites as the tissues and scars dealt with this new strain and movement but, I did not stop. I kept going, no matter how slow--I was determined to run again.
We also moved out of our home of 11 years in June. This was a very exciting adventure! I love moving (call me crazy) and the prospect of a new home was exhilarating. I could not wait to leave this house filled with years of physical pain and illness behind me and start over. We moved into a little rent house in town (we were in the country before) and I enjoyed running through the neighborhood. It's in this little house where I really began to thrive. Running became easier and my distances and times improved. Life was beginning to feel normal again.
In July, we headed to Mexico for my first beach vacation. It was something I dreamed about while laying in that hospital bed with wires and tubes attached to my body. I imagined the oxygen that was pumping into my nose was the fresh salty breeze of the ocean. Shannon kept telling me: "As soon as you're able, we will go wherever you want and celebrate living!" I held onto this promise and now it was going to be a reality. It was awesome, just plain awesome to lay in the sand and feel the ocean mist on my weary soul.
We started building our new home right before leaving for Mexico. Another amazing and exciting adventure that would carry us through to December.
Late July came and we decided to load up the kids and drive across the country from Texas to Washington state down to California and back to Texas again. It was a crazy, fun filled, long road trip with memories that will last a lifetime.
Early August found us preparing for school. Erik started his final year of high school and Thomas began his sophomore year.
My days started with running as I continued to work on my strength and endurance. This was my sole purpose, to be healthy and energetic again. I was slowly regaining my energy and stamina when a friend called and asked if we could run together. She had recently quit her job and wanted to start running. She also had a goal, to run a half marathon. At the time, I thought that was so great and was just excited to have a running buddy, I never thought I would actually share her goal. It just seemed too far out there for me. We began running together twice a week and I loved it! This helped me tremendously, when I doubted I could keep going she was always there in front of me, giving me the motivation not to stop.
September 2012, I ran my first 5K. I cried as I crossed the finish line. It marked a return of life. It was also the one year anniversary of my ileostomy. I finally felt like I was whole again.
October came and I signed up for the White Rock Dallas 1/2 marathon to be held on December 9th, 2012. My running partner's goal had become my own.
November took us to Austin for Thanksgiving and I ran the 5 mile Turkey Trot. It was so much fun. This running thing was becoming more and more of a passion. We spent a few days with Shannon's family and enjoying the beautiful hill country.
December 2012 is here. This is a big month. I have managed to thrive through a full year of firsts since my surgeries. Now it's time to run 13.1 miles. December 9th came and my running partner and I found ourselves standing in the starting line corrals of the marathon in downtown Dallas. Excitement and fear surged through me. The gun went off and we moved forward to complete a goal set months before.
13.1 miles is a freakin' long way to run! What was I thinking? Holy. Cow. Well, I had lots of time to think as I put one foot in front of the other. When I passed mile marker 7, I was no longer having fun. It was just hard. I had started walking a few minutes in between running around mile 6. Miles 8 and 9 were more walking than running and by mile 10 I was just flat out walking. Whenever I would get discouraged I would think about where I was a year ago. This helped me keep moving forward towards that finish line. Around mile 12, Shannon was waiting for me. This was a welcome sight and helped me to keep going. He walked with me for about 1/2 a mile and gave me the encouragement I desperately needed to start running again as the finish line came into focus. I ran across the finish line after 3 hours and 13 minutes. As I crossed that line my friend was waiting for me. We hugged and cried and held up our medals in victory.
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| Crying at the finish line of the 2012 Dallas White Rock 1/2 Marathon |
I am doing something that I once thought impossible. I am living disease free! I am able to be spontaneous again. I can go somewhere and not spend the majority of it running to the bathroom. I wake up feeling good. The only pain I feel is self induced by exercise.
When we came home from Dallas on Monday we moved into our now finished brand new home! Another accomplishment of 2012.
We will celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior over the next few days and I will cherish every bit of it. Between family, friends and all the food, my mind will never be far from the blessing of survival that HE brought me through.
2013 holds the promise of our oldest son's high school graduation and start of college and son #2 wearing himself (and us) out with school sports. The hubs and I will enjoy each new moment and challenge to come because we know, things could be very different.
Merry CHRISTmas and God bless you in 2013.
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