Good Friday, a time for reflection.

Today is Good Friday. This weekend we celebrate the Risen Christ. Lately, I've been reminded of how completely human I am and how very little control I have of this world. It's so easy to turn to God when things are hard, in fact, it's  my natural instinct. I know exactly who to lean on for comfort, understanding and wisdom. So why do I not do it everyday? Why do I wait until the ground under me begins to shake? Why do I become complacent and comfortable so easily?

I doubt I'll ever answer these questions. I'll probably struggle with this until the day He returns. I am thankful to be reminded though. To seek Him first is a privilege that I tend to take for granted. The guilt I feel when I realize this is welcome. It's like a swift kick in the pants to get my priorities straight.

This seems to be the theme of 2011 for me. I should title this year as Get Your Priorities Straight Dummy! I'm really trying too. I have been committed to getting healthy and it's actually working. It's dang hard though. I am starting to see progress now. My good days far out number the bad and now that warmer weather is here my body does not ache like in the winter months. (I still believe I'm meant to live on a tropical beach...) I am FINALLY seeing some success with the weight loss goal through Weight Loss Zone. In fact, in a little bit, I'm headed there to weigh in. Wish I could stand on that scale completely naked, but who wants to witness that?!?! I am wearing clothes that I couldn't button the pants on 2 weeks ago so somethings working!!

I'm also getting stronger, coming back from the many doses of prednisone! My endurance is up and I can last through a full work out with out having to nap after. I was feeling so proud of myself yesterday until I got the mail. There was a letter from my doctor concerning a blood test he ran. It had a place to check if the results were normal, stable or please call the office. I have always ranked in the normal except for when I was very ill. I was expecting the same result since I feel so healthy at the moment. Instead, stable was checked. Being that I am not a medical expert, this confused me. What does that mean? Stable? And of course, everyone is closed today for the holiday so I can't call. I must wait until Monday. UHG. Stable? But, I feel so good. How different is stable from normal? What markers cause the test results to move down the scale? Is stable good or bad? So, here I start to lean heavily on my faith. Now, I realize this blood test does not diagnose me with anything and probably, there is really no reason for concern; but, it does cause me worry. There were no instructions on the test result to call and make an appointment or even consult my doctor so, why is this hitting me so hard? Maybe because I am forced to my knees to seek peace when I thought all was well? Maybe I am just reminded of how very precious life is.

Moving on, I cannot dwell on the stupid blood test or it will drive me crazy! As I've said before, I want to live in the moment. Until Monday, the blood test goes on the back burner and focusing on a great Easter weekend comes front and center. Here's where that peace that surpasses understanding will come in handy. I am so thankful that I do not have to carry the weight of my burdens alone.


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