The Craziness of it All!

Until yesterday, I had not made the time to blog and I had NO IDEA how much I've missed it. Writing for me is a major outlet. I tend to internalize everything and writing helps me get a clear picture of all the craziness in life.

Ever since I can remember I've been journaling. I actually remember my very first diary. I was in 4th grade and was given a little red book with a lock on it for my birthday. I can still feel the excitement that coursed through my body as I open the wrapping to reveal the shiny little gold letters of "My Diary" engraved on the front cover. I think I filled the pages of that little book up with in the first 6 months. It was the beginning of my desire to write.

I have always loved to read. I can't remember not being surrounded by books. I come from a long line of readers. My love of words was given to me by my mother. She is a voracious reader! She is also a dang good writer. I don't know if she journals, but I do know, she had some poetry published at a very young age and even pursued journalism in college. I am so grateful to have inherited this gene from her. I am never bored as long as I have a book to read  or something to write on.

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Moving on to other subjects--

I am headed to The Weight Loss Zone today to weigh in... I'm actually a bit worried about this. With summer in full swing, I have not been very faithful to my diet. I'm not sure if I've gained any weight and would be completely shocked if I've lost any. I did wear some pants yesterday that are almost too big to. I am very hour glass shaped so my waist is hard to fit anyway. When I put on the pants, I needed a belt just to keep them up! That was a very nice surprise! So, wish me luck when I go in today.

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House for sale. Yep, we just put our home on the market. I am going to miss this house and the pool we put in a few years ago. Why are we selling? Well, several reasons actually. We are on a 4 year countdown. Our youngest will be a freshman in high school this year! Our oldest will be a junior! Craziness. Here's our plan: Erik will finish his 2 high school years in Canyon so we will stay in the Canyon district for at least those 2 years. Thomas will start Bushland High in the fall so we would like to find something a little closer to the halfway mark between Canyon and Bushland with out leaving Canyon's district. Then once Erik has graduated, we will move into the Bushland area. The BIG change will come when Thomas graduates high school. We are headed to the Dallas area! Not necessarily the Dallas metroplex but more outside of it like Decatur, Bridgeport or somewhere like that. We love this area with the rolling hills, huge trees and lakes.

The weather is also a major reason for our move. The weather here is so hard on my body. The extreme temperature and barometric pressure changes just kill me. This past winter I thought I would lose my mind. Granted, it was one of the most severe winters we've had in a long time but, I can see easily enjoying the milder winters a little further south from here. I was born in the Dallas area so maybe, I'm just returning to my roots...

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Yesterday I had a job interview! I have not interviewed for a job in over 10 or 12 years. There was such a mix of emotions running through me. I was super excited about the prospect of working again and honestly, of someone believing that I have what they need to be an asset to their business. I never finished college, we started our family instead, so to be considered for something other than a burger flipper makes me feel good. There is nothing wrong with burger flipping--EVERY job is important and there is no shame in a pay check. I can and would flip burgers if I needed to, but I love working in an office. I really, really enjoy organizing, managing and the multi-tasking that is required in an office job. So, back to the interview: It is for a part time receptionist position in a busy local agency in Amarillo. My past work experiences are all in this field so I know I would be an asset. Whether or not they choose to hire me is OK. I feel like the interview went very well and if God wants me to work then that opportunity will open up somewhere. I have a lot of peace about it.

I would be lying if I told you I wouldn't be a bit disappointed if it didn't work out though. I really liked the feel of this business from the moment I entered the front door. Lots of creative energy flowing and everyone bustling about made me want to stay all day just to see the dynamics of the work environment. I realized just how much I missed working in an office. However, I certainly don't want to step into something God isn't preparing for me. I've done that before, it didn't work out so well.

While getting ready for the interview I began to feel nervous. The thoughts that run through your mind when you step outside of your little box can be very scary. The self-doubt can be debilitating! I am a very confident person or so I like to think anyway, so I was shocked at the ridiculous jitters that I experienced! Being gone from the work force for 10 years made me a little insecure. I'm a very quick learner and take instruction well but still, the thought of doing something so new and being so rusty is a bit overwhelming.

The emotions of yesterday took a toll on my gut too. This will have to be something that I will need to watch very carefully. No matter what, if I change up my routine--even for the better, I'm going to experience it in the colon. Lovely, I know, but it's my reality. The first few weeks of working may be a little rough physically. I just pray that my cranky colon will not jeopardize something I want to do. It has already taken so much of my life away, I refuse to give it any more power.

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Don't know if you've heard, but this part of Texas is experiencing a MAJOR drought. We have not had rain in 9 stinking months! Farmers and ranchers are experiencing devastating losses. Our temps are averaging in the 100's and the wind has been relentless! There are wild fires all around us due to extremely dry conditions. It's very sad. What makes it even worse, incredibly stupid people who throw cigarettes out their car windows. Yet, another reason to move to the Dallas area--the smell and feel of a good thunderstorm!

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I must be getting old. Sleeping in now days is like trying to bathe a cat. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed, I'm going to wake up early! In the last couple of months I have not slept past 7:30 am and sometimes (like today) I wake up around 5. I've just decided to go ahead and get up. I love sitting in my quite house, sipping coffee and enjoying the morning light. Listening to the world come alive is very inspiring for my soul. These early mornings allow me to focus and meditate before the day gets too crazy. Maybe that's why I'm waking up so early, my mind and body need this bit of sanity more than sleep...

This morning I am watching an amazing sunrise. The whole sky is orange and the sun is so very beautiful shining with all it's glory. It's going to be hot again today but the cool of the early morning is a nice reminder of God' majesty.

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