Bagcident

Since having my ileostomy surgery and then 3 months later having my rectum removed, I've become even worse about putting things off. Part of that is my lack of energy and stamina but the biggest part is that I want to go and play now that I feel so much better! I do not want to do the everyday chores and errands like I should.  

Saturday night we went to poker party at some friends' house. I found myself very anxious all day. This was our first real "night out" in 6 months. Where this feeling came from, I'm unsure of because these are people we know well. It finally dawned on me that I was worried about having a bagcident. This is my term for having an ostomy bag accident, bag + accident = bagcident.

I should be fairly comfortable with my ostomy bag by now, or so I thought anyway, so this took me by surprise. I was struggling with this irrational fear of having a bagcident while at the party. I imagined sitting at the table, it's my turn and everyone is waiting for me to play and my bag blows up sending crap all over the table and my friends. Or, I stand up and my bag falls to the floor and the contents are running down my legs and all over my shoes making poop puddles as I run to the bathroom. Meanwhile, everyone is horrified and jumping up from the table, screaming like a horror flick and running for the door. Of course none of this happened and I'm pretty sure it never will but, this is what I was dealing with all day. 

I would tell myself, "Self, you're being ridiculous. Now shut up and get excited!" Myself didn't want to listen so we argued all day about it. You're probably thinking, maybe the bag is not the problem, she may need some anti-psychotic meds instead... Well, it's crossed my mind too.

Long story short~ no bagcident that evening. We had a wonderful time and stayed out until 3am! Haven't done that in a very long time. It didn't even make a sound! Which was unusual considering I had a soda and a couple of beers and tons of junk food. All of my worries were for nothing. 

I have been preparing myself for a public bagcident though. I know it may happen one day and I just want to be mentally prepared for it so I don't collapse into the fetal position staring into oblivion and mumbling incoherently. I think this would be worse than the actual bagcident. I'd hate to be hauled off by the people in white coats because of this. So yes, I make sure I have extra supplies wherever I am just in case my bag spontaneously combusts. My hope is that if I am ready for such an incident then it will never happen... 

Well now that I've put off my busy day long enough I must get busy. Blogging is such a great excuse for a procrastinator. I wonder what else I "need" to do before I have to start the laundry???