The Color of Pain

My mind works in strange ways. When I am in pain I often find myself thinking about what color my pain is. Maybe it’s the wanna-be artist in me, or the wanna-be decorator, but I think of things in color before numbers.
In the hospital, you are constantly asked what your pain level is on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst. My pain chart starts off with yellow. A soft yellow is a dull ache, something tolerable, you might even take Tylenol but it’s not a must. As the yellow deepens and becomes darker, maybe with hints of orange -the pain is a little more noticeable. It won’t keep you from doing anything but you will be popping some kind of over the counter pain remedy. But then, if the orange hints begin to take over and the color is closer to that of red, well- that’s a different story. Red pain is much stronger, bolder and demands to be noticed. Sometimes you can even see the fire red pain in the area affected. Weather it be a true manifestation of color on the skin or the radiating heat from the swelling, it requires attention and most likely, a prescription. From red it begins to turn blue. Blue like the deep center of the ocean. A dark shadow of the encroaching pain. Blue is actually one of my favorite colors, but this blue is more felt than it is an artist tool. It has razor sharp slices that will make you catch your breath. It will make you stop what your doing and sit down. This blue pain is the edge of a slippery slope to the depths of white pain. White pain is pain in it’s purest form. There is no denying it’s force. Your body will not relax, your teeth will grind, and your entire posture will be tense. It holds you prisoner and reminds you of the time passing by. It is the darkest white you will ever see. At some point white pain darkens into the blackest of blacks. This is the pain that threatens to take you under and has you considering all of your options. This is dangerous. Your mind will begin to embrace the darkness if you are not careful. Black pain is unmanageable, period. No matter what is given to you for pain control, it has a mind of it’s own. It knows no bounds.
Yesterday was a pain filled day for me. A pain with blue tones. Woke up today a little better but still fighting the blue and trying hard to move it back into the red. I am missing Thomas’ basketball game as I write this. This fact tries hard to shove the pain over the edge into the deepest of blues. Not going to happen. It will be a slow morning but I will claim today as mine and make Thomas’ 4:30 pm game.