To Do or Not To Do...

Scope is done and results are in: Remicade 1, UC 0. Remicade is definitely earning it's keep at 5 grand every 6 weeks. Thank God for insurance. Let's hope that any health care reforms don't screw this up for me...

As I write this, I am sitting in my favorite spot drinking coffee. I love to have this time every morning after kids go to school and hubby goes to work. I need it to get ready for the day. A little one on one with my Creator and a chance to reflect on my goals and prepare for the day.

Since I lost the first 2 weeks of school to feeling bad, I have a lot to do during this short week. I am also starting week 2 of my new medicine changes. I can already tell a difference. It looks like my UC wasn't flaring after all, but my meds obviously needed some adjusting. I am feeling less overwhelmed and sleeping much better at night too. My body aches are still there but the leg and foot cramps seem to be lessening.  In fact, my doc said that if he hadn't known my history, he would have had a hard time diagnosing me with UC based on the "peak" in my colon. Now, that is amazing! My previous scope was cut short because my colon and intestines were so inflamed the doc was afraid he would puncture the lining if he kept looking. Again, I must give credit to the Miracle Worker and Remicade.

I keep thinking about what new project I can take on, but unfortunately, I am reminded of all the unfinished projects I have surrounding me. This is the only thing about feeling good, I don't want to finish old projects, I want to start something new, exciting and fun. However, I am feeling quite convicted about leaving things undone. Trying to teach your kids to "finish what you start because it shows good character" and then not following your own advice is not a good example. Uhg, again, major conviction in this area. I guess, I will not be starting any new ventures until the old ones are done and done properly.

I have realized, over the last few weeks, what a bad example I have been as far as keeping up my priorities. Yes, I haven't felt well but I cannot let this be an excuse. You see, when I do feel good--I want to go play and do fun things not chores. Last night I was letting the kids have it for being such gross pigs. I had watched several episodes of Hoarders on A&E and was completely repulsed by some of the conditions these people have put themselves in. I ache for them as they obviously have some emotional issues that really have nothing to do with the junk they have attached themselves to. As a parent, you want your kids to be better than you are, to have strong healthy minds and constructive habits. As I've said before, I tend to be lazy and undisciplined. I DO NOT want this for my boys. There is a time to relax and let things slide, but one must keep priorities and standards that are healthy and fruitful for everyday living. I have been lax here. I have let some things go that should have been priorities. I see how it has trickled down and affected everyone and everything around me. Man, that's a hard thing to be open about.

This week, I turn over a new leaf and commence with getting back on those priorities and projects I have let slip. I have gone too long using illness as an excuse for too much. Now, I realize there will be days that I won't feel well and on those days I will keep in mind that when I am better, I will get back on track. I can and will tackle what I have left undone. I can and will set a better example.

With that being said--I need to get busy. My first priority, to make a list of things that need to be done and then prioritize them. I am going to be honest with myself and it won't be easy; because, this list will be long and detailed. I am committed to doing it. I will set realistic goals and continue to regroup and make changes that are necessary as I go along. I will expect the best from myself and not settle for things done half way. I will remind myself of the satisfaction I will feel when a task is completed. I will make it a priority to reward myself with time off for good behavior. After all, everyone needs a break and something to look forward to, otherwise burn out will be a sure thing.

Philippians 4:13. Need I say any more?


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