Funky Funk

I have been struggling this past week.
Everything seems hard and insurmountable.
I don't have any "Get Up And Go-ness."
My mojo is running on empty.
I keep wondering "Why?"
For some reason, my head is foggy and thinking clearly is hard.
Putting order to my daily routine is a bit overwhelming.
I wish I knew how to get out of this funk.
Tomorrow, I must get a grip.
Time to move forward, even if it does feel like it's an uphill battle.

I don't feel like I'm depressed. I mean, everything is good, actually it's great, so what the heck is up with me? The last week or so has been rough. My To Do list is forever long and the house is in a state of chaos. I just want to run away and hide out on a beach chair, listening to the ocean and sipping something cold and fruity... oh, and don't forget a few good books.

I am hoping that blogging will help clear the cobwebs from my mind. I need some clarity. I do not like this feeling of... I don't even know what to call it... It's just a funky funk.

It doesn't help that I had a rough night last night. Not much sleep at all. I was having issues with my ostomy. Not sure if I ate something or why it always has to happen at night, but I was miserable. Lots of air in the bag. So much so, that at one point it felt like I had a tractor tire hanging from belly. It felt that big and hard. It's very hard to explain the feeling to someone unfamiliar with ostomy bags. But, you know when you've had a stomach bug and your tummy feels like a lump of cement? That's how I felt all night. Up and down to empty the bag or let the air out all night.

I'm taking today to wallow in my funk. I have no agenda. I have moved from my bed to my chair and back to bed several times today. I've finished one book and read part of another. I've caught up on all my social networks, media and everything else that's trivial. I've wasted lots of time on Pinterest and Amazon. All done in my jammies and scary bed hair. I ate donuts and drank coffee at 4:30pm today. I feel like a complete loser.

Sometimes, I just need a day to get completely sick of myself so I can move forward with momentum. I'm hoping tomorrow is Momentum Monday. I plan to wake up and hit the floor running. I'm not giving myself the chance to funk out and crawl back in bed.



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