Another First
The hubs and I made a quick trip to Vegas this week. This was my first time to fly with my new bff--my ostomy bag. I was a bit nervous not knowing how it would go and hoping a bagcident would not occur. I was careful to empty it before security and didn't drink or eat anything that might produce a lot of air so the bag would lay nice and flat against my body. When it was my turn to go through security, I stripped down as required and proceeded through the detector...
I don't know if in Amarillo our security is a bit tighter because of Pantex (a nuclear plant located here) but when I walked through-- all the bells and whistles went off. I went through the "Nekkid" machine, as my dad calls it; it revealed that I was carrying "contraband" around my waist. Seriously? I then told the security attendant that I have an ostomy bag there and she said, "Well, I have to pat you down anyway." So, after a very personal pat down I was told to rub my hands over the area in question and they would scan my hands with this little wand thingy. I did as I was told not wanting to create even more of a scene. By the time I was done I needed a cigarette and the morning after pill. Geez!
We ostomates should have some kind of card to carry to avoid such situations. Something official that will allow us to pass through the "Nekkid" machine with out being molested.
Everything beyond security was smooth sailing. Didn't even use the bathroom on the 2 hour flight. We arrived in Vegas and proceeded to have a good ol' time! The trip home was uneventful and so was security, a very pleasant surprise.
Next week I fly to Sacramento to see my sister. I'm not looking forward to meeting up with Amarillo's security again but I'll just deal with it.
*~*~*~*~*
I didn't run like I was supposed to in Vegas... Now, I need to do some double time to catch up with the 5K training schedule. I'm going to be honest here and tell you that I would be very happy to sit in my pajamas all day today. I guess I have a Vegas hangover. I am wiped out! We need a vacation after a trip to Vegas.
We did do some major walking though. We stayed at Caesar's Palace, which is unbelievably HUGE! So we walked and walked and walked! I was careful what I ate too, not indulging too much. This was for several reasons, first- so I wouldn't have any bag issues or tummy aches, second- I crave healthy food, junk doesn't appeal to me anymore. I am also enjoying my new slender figure now that the stupid steroid weight is gone and I do not want to gain any of it back!!!
I know training for a 5K seems like overkill but I need it if I'm going to complete this goal. I am one of these people that needs to feel prepared for a challenge. A 5K is a very monumental challenge for me. In the past, training for something like this was almost impossible. Inevitably, I would end up with a flare before completing my goal. Even though I know this will not happen since the UC is gone, I still have a little paranoia that something will keep me from my desired goal. It's a total mind game. I just want to shake my fist at my psyche and yell "DARN YOU! I will prevail!" I guess after 8 years of being chronically ill you have to deal with some mental blockages.
I'm realizing there are a lot of obstacles my mind throws in front of me. And at weird times too. I'll be going along just fine and out of nowhere I'll get hit with a stupid mind game. For instance, it never failed that when I went shopping I would have an emergency bathroom run. This might start with severe stomach cramping causing me to fall to my knees where ever I was. I would try to make it look like I was interested in something on a bottom shelf but the pain would be so strong, most of the time my eyes were squeezed shut. When I could finally stand again I would make a bee-line to the closest bathroom, even opting for the men's if the women's was taken. Then after an excruciating 15-20 minutes I would leave the restroom exhausted from pain and stressed out completely and try to finish my shopping. I've come out before and found my basket gone, an employee thinking it had been abandoned probably replaced all my selections. If this happened, the overwhelming feeling of defeat would prevail and I'd just go home. So after several years of this, I still find myself experiencing a bit of a panic attack when I first arrive somewhere.
It's true that the mind is a powerful weapon. I'm trying desperately to correct these feelings of paranoia and retrain my thinking process. It's not an easy task though. It's like trying to write left-handed after a lifetime of being a righty. I find myself smiling and even sighing out loud when I overcome certain obstacles. One of the first times I made it through grocery shopping without incident, I rejoiced loudly and visibly in my car before I even left the parking lot! I'm sure people must have thought I was completely nuts. I just couldn't contain my joy!
There have been a lot of firsts over the last few months. Most of which have been met with great surprise! I was so used to being hindered by the UC that I let it defeat me before I ever tried anything.
I am in the process of getting my house back in order. I didn't realize how much I had slacked off until now. Here is a most embarrassing example: While doing laundry last week I was getting some sweats out of my car and saw a suitcase tucked against the wall in the garage. Wondering if it was empty and just needed to be put away in my closet, I unzipped it only to find it was full of clothes and other items from our trip to Costa Rica in July of 2011. Now to save a little face here, I went downhill very fast after this trip. We came home in late July and I was admitted to the hospital the first week of August because of a UC flare which was evidence that the Remicade treatments were no longer effective. This began the discussions of colon removal that would take place in September. Then I never fully recovered from the ileostomy surgery due to the fact that the remaining inch and a half left of my rectum became so inflamed with UC and was then removed in December.
So now I am in the process of reclaiming my life in almost every area! It's a bit overwhelming honestly, but I'm pressing through! Each time I check something off my infinite list I celebrate with a happy dance. Life is good.
I don't know if in Amarillo our security is a bit tighter because of Pantex (a nuclear plant located here) but when I walked through-- all the bells and whistles went off. I went through the "Nekkid" machine, as my dad calls it; it revealed that I was carrying "contraband" around my waist. Seriously? I then told the security attendant that I have an ostomy bag there and she said, "Well, I have to pat you down anyway." So, after a very personal pat down I was told to rub my hands over the area in question and they would scan my hands with this little wand thingy. I did as I was told not wanting to create even more of a scene. By the time I was done I needed a cigarette and the morning after pill. Geez!
We ostomates should have some kind of card to carry to avoid such situations. Something official that will allow us to pass through the "Nekkid" machine with out being molested.
Everything beyond security was smooth sailing. Didn't even use the bathroom on the 2 hour flight. We arrived in Vegas and proceeded to have a good ol' time! The trip home was uneventful and so was security, a very pleasant surprise.
Next week I fly to Sacramento to see my sister. I'm not looking forward to meeting up with Amarillo's security again but I'll just deal with it.
*~*~*~*~*
I didn't run like I was supposed to in Vegas... Now, I need to do some double time to catch up with the 5K training schedule. I'm going to be honest here and tell you that I would be very happy to sit in my pajamas all day today. I guess I have a Vegas hangover. I am wiped out! We need a vacation after a trip to Vegas.
We did do some major walking though. We stayed at Caesar's Palace, which is unbelievably HUGE! So we walked and walked and walked! I was careful what I ate too, not indulging too much. This was for several reasons, first- so I wouldn't have any bag issues or tummy aches, second- I crave healthy food, junk doesn't appeal to me anymore. I am also enjoying my new slender figure now that the stupid steroid weight is gone and I do not want to gain any of it back!!!
I know training for a 5K seems like overkill but I need it if I'm going to complete this goal. I am one of these people that needs to feel prepared for a challenge. A 5K is a very monumental challenge for me. In the past, training for something like this was almost impossible. Inevitably, I would end up with a flare before completing my goal. Even though I know this will not happen since the UC is gone, I still have a little paranoia that something will keep me from my desired goal. It's a total mind game. I just want to shake my fist at my psyche and yell "DARN YOU! I will prevail!" I guess after 8 years of being chronically ill you have to deal with some mental blockages.
I'm realizing there are a lot of obstacles my mind throws in front of me. And at weird times too. I'll be going along just fine and out of nowhere I'll get hit with a stupid mind game. For instance, it never failed that when I went shopping I would have an emergency bathroom run. This might start with severe stomach cramping causing me to fall to my knees where ever I was. I would try to make it look like I was interested in something on a bottom shelf but the pain would be so strong, most of the time my eyes were squeezed shut. When I could finally stand again I would make a bee-line to the closest bathroom, even opting for the men's if the women's was taken. Then after an excruciating 15-20 minutes I would leave the restroom exhausted from pain and stressed out completely and try to finish my shopping. I've come out before and found my basket gone, an employee thinking it had been abandoned probably replaced all my selections. If this happened, the overwhelming feeling of defeat would prevail and I'd just go home. So after several years of this, I still find myself experiencing a bit of a panic attack when I first arrive somewhere.
It's true that the mind is a powerful weapon. I'm trying desperately to correct these feelings of paranoia and retrain my thinking process. It's not an easy task though. It's like trying to write left-handed after a lifetime of being a righty. I find myself smiling and even sighing out loud when I overcome certain obstacles. One of the first times I made it through grocery shopping without incident, I rejoiced loudly and visibly in my car before I even left the parking lot! I'm sure people must have thought I was completely nuts. I just couldn't contain my joy!
There have been a lot of firsts over the last few months. Most of which have been met with great surprise! I was so used to being hindered by the UC that I let it defeat me before I ever tried anything.
I am in the process of getting my house back in order. I didn't realize how much I had slacked off until now. Here is a most embarrassing example: While doing laundry last week I was getting some sweats out of my car and saw a suitcase tucked against the wall in the garage. Wondering if it was empty and just needed to be put away in my closet, I unzipped it only to find it was full of clothes and other items from our trip to Costa Rica in July of 2011. Now to save a little face here, I went downhill very fast after this trip. We came home in late July and I was admitted to the hospital the first week of August because of a UC flare which was evidence that the Remicade treatments were no longer effective. This began the discussions of colon removal that would take place in September. Then I never fully recovered from the ileostomy surgery due to the fact that the remaining inch and a half left of my rectum became so inflamed with UC and was then removed in December.
So now I am in the process of reclaiming my life in almost every area! It's a bit overwhelming honestly, but I'm pressing through! Each time I check something off my infinite list I celebrate with a happy dance. Life is good.
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