Halfway thru the first week!
It's Wednesday! This school year started off with a bang. Sunday night I hardly slept, not sure why. Then on Monday, a massive migraine set in and body aches that could reduce a grown man to tears accompanied the northern front that blew in with a vengeance. Tuesday was spent with a "migraine hang-over." I'm so glad it's Wednesday, not to mention that I woke up feeling pretty darn good. All my good intentions for starting off the first week of school with great strategy and "get 'er done-ness" flew out the window with that blasted north wind. After being forced to lower my standards, I am starting anew today. I actually got up when my alarm went off which is unheard of in this house.
So. I've had a couple of days to think about what it would be like to have a job. As much as I would like to do something part time, after Monday and Tuesday--I just don't know how I could be a reliable employee. This makes me sad. I hate the way sickness sometimes rules my life, robbing me of normal activities. I know that some people would love to not work, to have the option of staying home. I feel very blessed that this is an option for me; but you know how it is, the grass is always greener.
I HATE using the excuse that I don't feel well. It's hard to explain exactly how I feel on a bad day. The amount of pain I feel is not easy to put into words. There are some days where I ache so bad no amount of pain medicine will help and just to sit still or lie in bed is horrible. There is no relief on those days and it really can mess with your mind.
I am not a complainer and don't always show how I feel on the outside. Sometimes my husband doesn't even realize I'm having a bad day. I tend to keep it to myself so I don't dwell on it. I do not want this damn disease to be my focus, because if I let it, it would take me over. People would get so sick of hearing about it and begin to think I'm some kind of hypochondriac. But the truth of the matter is, I have this stupid UC thing. It is not particular as to when it decides to flare and can come from out of nowhere. I'm sick of making allowances for it but if I don't stop when it flares, it gets much worse and fast. So, what choice do I have?
Enough with the pity party. As I said, I am behind in what I want to do so I must get cracking!