Being A Lady
I have been too busy during the day to blog and too tired when I finally sit down in the evening. I woke up at 5:30 today feeling well rested so, after throwing some chicken in the crock pot and having my (much loved) first cup of coffee I thought I'd type a little.
I really miss blogging on the days that are too crazy to whip out a few sentences. It helps keep me grounded and my mind moving forward. I have stacks of diaries and journals dating back to 1981 when I was given my first diary by my grandmother. I miss her. She was a remarkable woman and very beautiful both inside and out. She passed away, not long ago, after suffering from several years of Alzheimer's. I HATE this disease. It has wound it's way through this side of my family for many generations, probably more than we even know. Her mother suffered from it as well as each of her siblings. It is so very hard to watch this ugly disease take someone you love dearly and turn them into a complete stranger. That's why I have decided it stops NOW. The End. No more. Period. I break it's hold on my family in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I continue to honor her in many ways that may seem trivial to others. For instance, manicures. She gave me my first real, grown up manicure set when I was in the 5th grade. She told me, "A lady must always feel pretty and keeping your nails manicured is an easy way to feel pretty." That may sound very vain and maybe even a bit shallow but, what she was trying to teach me was this: If you take time to care for your self, it won't matter what others think of you. You develop self-respect when you "feel pretty." Later that evening, my mother took it away when she caught me hiding under the covers trying to paint my nails when I was supposed to be asleep for school the next day...I got a stern lecture on being responsible with my manicure kit.
Throughout my years of growing up, she made many, many banquet and prom dresses for me, always taking time to fit them perfectly to my gangly, awkward frame. She told me once, "A lady should always wear pretty underwear so no matter if you are working in the garden or walking a runway, you feel beautiful." When my sister and I were kids we would spend a week with each set of grandparents during the summer. My week with "MaTom" (my name for her) was always filled with fun girly stuff. Every now and then, she would make me do a few things like stand up straight and walk down the long hallway in their home watching to make sure my posture was fitting of a "lady". I used to roll my eyes at this. At age 12, I was a tomboy and could have cared less about such things. Now, I am so very, very thankful for the little lessons of "being a lady".
MaTom, short for MamaTom which is a combination of Mama (what we all called her mother) + Tommy (her given name was Tommy Lou), always seemed so glamorous to me. She was the wife of a very successful Air Force colonel and they were always dressing up for various events requiring ball gowns, having drinks at the Officer's Club. She would allow her 3 granddaughters to play dress up in them as well as her jewelry, which she had loads of. We always felt like princesses twirling about in those 50's style gowns. I know I get my love of jewelry from her. She was always dressed to the nines complete with jewelry and a fresh manicure. Even if she was running to the grocery store she always looked put together. When I think of her, I always see her in flowy dress, heels and jewelry with beautifully painted nails.
When she started showing signs of Alzheimer's, her attention to style and upkeep was one of the first things to go. My grandfather did his best to keep her beautiful. He kept her manicure appointments even after he had to place her in a home for Alzheimer's patients. He took the to the salon to get her hair done just as she had done weekly for as long as I can remember. He made sure her clothes were clean and tidy, though her style became very simple compared to her pre-disease days. His love for her never wavered during these horrible and hard years. Their's was a story of passionate true love. A legacy I am thankful to have in my family line.
These pictures are from a few years before her death. I don't have any loaded on my computer of her from earlier days to show what a fashionable woman she was. I wish I did, I will have to remedy this. Soon.
Her lessons of self-upkeep remain imbedded in my soul to this day. In fact, it's something that keeps her memory alive for me. I may not be dressed to the nines all the time like she was but I do try to take care of myself. I get my nails done, keep my appearance neat and enjoy being a "lady". It's another reason I run to keep my body healthy and fit. Not just for outward appearances but for my inner diva; because honestly, I want to look good and feel good about myself.
There's a saying that you must love yourself so that others may love you too. Yep, I believe this. If you don't like anything about yourself why would anyone else? So when I was faced with a permanent ileostomy, I had to decide to love that part of me too. Thank you MaTom for instilling a strong sense of self-respect in my mother who in turn, passed it on to my sister and me. It has helped me overcome so many hurdles in my life. Your legacy lives on.
I really miss blogging on the days that are too crazy to whip out a few sentences. It helps keep me grounded and my mind moving forward. I have stacks of diaries and journals dating back to 1981 when I was given my first diary by my grandmother. I miss her. She was a remarkable woman and very beautiful both inside and out. She passed away, not long ago, after suffering from several years of Alzheimer's. I HATE this disease. It has wound it's way through this side of my family for many generations, probably more than we even know. Her mother suffered from it as well as each of her siblings. It is so very hard to watch this ugly disease take someone you love dearly and turn them into a complete stranger. That's why I have decided it stops NOW. The End. No more. Period. I break it's hold on my family in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I continue to honor her in many ways that may seem trivial to others. For instance, manicures. She gave me my first real, grown up manicure set when I was in the 5th grade. She told me, "A lady must always feel pretty and keeping your nails manicured is an easy way to feel pretty." That may sound very vain and maybe even a bit shallow but, what she was trying to teach me was this: If you take time to care for your self, it won't matter what others think of you. You develop self-respect when you "feel pretty." Later that evening, my mother took it away when she caught me hiding under the covers trying to paint my nails when I was supposed to be asleep for school the next day...I got a stern lecture on being responsible with my manicure kit.
Throughout my years of growing up, she made many, many banquet and prom dresses for me, always taking time to fit them perfectly to my gangly, awkward frame. She told me once, "A lady should always wear pretty underwear so no matter if you are working in the garden or walking a runway, you feel beautiful." When my sister and I were kids we would spend a week with each set of grandparents during the summer. My week with "MaTom" (my name for her) was always filled with fun girly stuff. Every now and then, she would make me do a few things like stand up straight and walk down the long hallway in their home watching to make sure my posture was fitting of a "lady". I used to roll my eyes at this. At age 12, I was a tomboy and could have cared less about such things. Now, I am so very, very thankful for the little lessons of "being a lady".
MaTom, short for MamaTom which is a combination of Mama (what we all called her mother) + Tommy (her given name was Tommy Lou), always seemed so glamorous to me. She was the wife of a very successful Air Force colonel and they were always dressing up for various events requiring ball gowns, having drinks at the Officer's Club. She would allow her 3 granddaughters to play dress up in them as well as her jewelry, which she had loads of. We always felt like princesses twirling about in those 50's style gowns. I know I get my love of jewelry from her. She was always dressed to the nines complete with jewelry and a fresh manicure. Even if she was running to the grocery store she always looked put together. When I think of her, I always see her in flowy dress, heels and jewelry with beautifully painted nails.
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| My mom, sister and nephew with MaTom. |
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| Notice my grandmother's nails as she hold hands with my mother, that is my grandfather's doing. :) |
These pictures are from a few years before her death. I don't have any loaded on my computer of her from earlier days to show what a fashionable woman she was. I wish I did, I will have to remedy this. Soon.
Her lessons of self-upkeep remain imbedded in my soul to this day. In fact, it's something that keeps her memory alive for me. I may not be dressed to the nines all the time like she was but I do try to take care of myself. I get my nails done, keep my appearance neat and enjoy being a "lady". It's another reason I run to keep my body healthy and fit. Not just for outward appearances but for my inner diva; because honestly, I want to look good and feel good about myself.
There's a saying that you must love yourself so that others may love you too. Yep, I believe this. If you don't like anything about yourself why would anyone else? So when I was faced with a permanent ileostomy, I had to decide to love that part of me too. Thank you MaTom for instilling a strong sense of self-respect in my mother who in turn, passed it on to my sister and me. It has helped me overcome so many hurdles in my life. Your legacy lives on.
Thank you, Monnie. I miss her so very much. She certainly was a lady and, bless her heart, in spite of me she managed to instill those principles in me. You, Dani, and April are strong and beautiful women and I love you all dearly. I think the young girls of today could learn a lot from that generation.
ReplyDeleteI, too, hate Alzheimer's and have broken that curse over myself and my descendants as well. And I believe that God has lifted that from us.