3:33 AM!

I cannot believe that I am up right now! I was so very tired and I just knew I would sleep well, but noooo, I wake up at 1:47 AM and now it is 3:33 AM. Really? I have to be up at 6 AM to make sure Thomas is up and ready for football. Tuesday may not be as productive as Monday...

The only nice thing about being up in the middle of the night is I've had a very nice, uninterrupted conversation with God. It always amazes me how I can find plenty of time for plenty of meaningless stuff but not enough time for Him. At 38 years of age you'd think I'd be better about this.

I love the peace that settles over me when I have this time with God. In this world, we are constantly plugged in and going 90 mph and rarely do we slow down enough to hear what God has to say to us. I am so guilty of prayers on the run, in the car, between commitments and when I'm too tired to focus. Doesn't He deserve more than that? I know He hears those chaotic shout outs too but I don't always hear Him until I'm still and quiet.

So tonight, in the middle of the night, I listened more than I talked for a change.

I love revelation. It gets me pumped when I discover or finally figure something out that's been on my mind. I love it when God gives me a glimpse of his perfect plan.

Here's what's been revealed to me at this early and very dark hour of the night. I want to work. I do not want to be held to a tight schedule that keeps me from my family and friends. Thankfully, I have the luxury of this as our household can function with out a 2nd pay check. I want to be home when my kids are. I want to be available to go to out of town ball games with out it being a big deal. I want to go on impromptu road trips with Shannon, go see my sister in California, or just stay home if I need to. This is not feasible with a full time job or even a part time one.

So, I think God is opening a couple of doors to me. One, I can sub in the school districts my kids are in. This will give me the freedom to work when I want to. This gives me the chance to get out of the house and still be available for my kids after school. Two, I can pursue photography. This one is very much in line with my creative side. I am very excited about these two opportunities as I believe they will afford me the flexibility I need and desire.

Flexibility seems to be the key word. Every request I send up is punctuated by the phrase: " Please allow me to be here for my family first." Part of this is a reminder to myself first and foremost; I tend to attack whatever I'm doing and get wrapped up in it. I don't want my priorities to get out of whack!


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