A Good Run
Sometimes a good run equals a good cry. Today, I ran for over an hour. Well actually I walked some too but I ran farther and longer than I have in many, many years. There was a lot of static in my head today. I was having a tough time staying focused on what needed to be done today. Maybe it's a girl thing, but my emotions seemed to be all over the place and with no real reason. My solution to this was to lace up the running shoes and head out to pound the pavement.
I knew the fresh air would do me good and I hoped the exertion would help me clear out the static. I usually only run for about 30 minutes; it's all my endurance seems to handle right now. I'm also a little conservative when running outside because of the whole heat exhaustion thing. Today was different though. The weather was cooler and there was a light breeze to help me stay cool. I made it through my usual 30 minutes in no time and realized I still wanted more. Needed more. So, I kept going. With out any thought to it, I kept going.
My mind needed the release and my body was complying for the first time in years. I was pushing myself through a barrier I didn't know I had. As my feet covered the ground, I was lost in just trying to breathe. I was aware of only the road in front of me and the sweat running down my back. At one point I stopped so I could figure out where I was. I was so lost in the run I wasn't sure where I was in the neighborhood; that has never happened to me before. Once I got my bearings, I was over a mile and a half away. (Katy--I was about a block away from you!) By the time I made it home, I think I covered close to 4 miles. A personal record.
On my trek home, my body began to scream at me. Every muscle in my body made itself evident. Fatigue began to set in but I kept going. I just kept running. Kept pushing. Kept going. My shins were on fire by this point but it didn't matter. I needed to keep moving.
I felt free!
I felt alive again!
I don't know how long it's been since I was able to push myself like that. To be lost in something other than illness; my body obeying me instead of the disease. This kind of pain I could handle. This was the pain of exertion, self-induced discomfort. It had reason. I welcomed it.
Tonight, I'm hobbling around the house with sore legs and a good tiredness. Tomorrow may be a little rough but I'm game. I'll take this kind of pain any day!
I am reminded of how far I have come in the last year alone. One year ago I was in the hospital contemplating colorectal surgery. One month later it was a done deal complete with a permanent ileostomy. Three months later I was back in the hospital for rectum removal. Both surgeries were tough and the 2nd almost did me in. But I'm here baby! And life is GOOD
I knew the fresh air would do me good and I hoped the exertion would help me clear out the static. I usually only run for about 30 minutes; it's all my endurance seems to handle right now. I'm also a little conservative when running outside because of the whole heat exhaustion thing. Today was different though. The weather was cooler and there was a light breeze to help me stay cool. I made it through my usual 30 minutes in no time and realized I still wanted more. Needed more. So, I kept going. With out any thought to it, I kept going.
My mind needed the release and my body was complying for the first time in years. I was pushing myself through a barrier I didn't know I had. As my feet covered the ground, I was lost in just trying to breathe. I was aware of only the road in front of me and the sweat running down my back. At one point I stopped so I could figure out where I was. I was so lost in the run I wasn't sure where I was in the neighborhood; that has never happened to me before. Once I got my bearings, I was over a mile and a half away. (Katy--I was about a block away from you!) By the time I made it home, I think I covered close to 4 miles. A personal record.
On my trek home, my body began to scream at me. Every muscle in my body made itself evident. Fatigue began to set in but I kept going. I just kept running. Kept pushing. Kept going. My shins were on fire by this point but it didn't matter. I needed to keep moving.
I felt free!
I felt alive again!
I don't know how long it's been since I was able to push myself like that. To be lost in something other than illness; my body obeying me instead of the disease. This kind of pain I could handle. This was the pain of exertion, self-induced discomfort. It had reason. I welcomed it.
Tonight, I'm hobbling around the house with sore legs and a good tiredness. Tomorrow may be a little rough but I'm game. I'll take this kind of pain any day!
I am reminded of how far I have come in the last year alone. One year ago I was in the hospital contemplating colorectal surgery. One month later it was a done deal complete with a permanent ileostomy. Three months later I was back in the hospital for rectum removal. Both surgeries were tough and the 2nd almost did me in. But I'm here baby! And life is GOOD
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