Dedicated to a nameless nurse I had in 2004.
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| THIS YEAR I WILL BE STRONGER BRAVER KINDER & UNSTOPPABLE THIS YEAR I WILL BE FIERCE |
When I was diagnosed in 2004, the thought of an ostomy scared the HELL out of me! I just knew that would be the worst possible thing that could ever happen to a person. (Shows how ignorant I was!) During my very first hospitalization, I had a nurse who told me I would eventually go this route; I wanted to punch him in the face but was too sick and weak from bleeding internally for several days. I told him, and probably not very kindly, that I hoped it would never come to that. He was very gracious with me and just smiled saying, "You'll change your mind eventually; I did and it was the best decision I ever made. It gave me my life back. I now work full time again and can travel anywhere with out worry. I feel amazing and just want you to know it's not the end of the world if and when you are faced with an ostomy." I'm sure I gave my best fake smile and asked for more IV pain meds so he would leave my room. I wasn't ready for that kind of reality yet. I was so uneducated at that point, all I could feel was anger toward him for implying that I would be happy to have a poop bag attached to my body. I also felt pity. Pity that he would accept what I thought at the time, was defeat.
Pity. There is a word I detest! Having gone through the whole ostomy transformation, the last thing I feel is self pity. Really! If I had only know how amazing I would feel, I would have opted for it in a heartbeat. I guess it's a process though. You need to reach a point where you hate your colon so much that you can get rid of it without hesitation. It took 7 years for me to get to that point. I hope and pray that sweet nurse didn't see my look of pity while he was caring for me. I could kick myself now.
I believe God brings people into our lives on purpose. This nurse was no exception. I forgot his name, and maybe, that's not what I was supposed to remember from our encounter because I have never forgotten a single word he said to me.
I am very thankful that nurse talked so openly about his ostomy. You have to be tough, thick skinned, and sure of yourself in order to reveal something most people would consider the worst possible thing that could ever happen to them. I am forever grateful. In so many ways his bravery has won my heart and I hope he is doing well and being blessed daily for his courage to step outside the box for others.
Pity. There is a word I detest! Having gone through the whole ostomy transformation, the last thing I feel is self pity. Really! If I had only know how amazing I would feel, I would have opted for it in a heartbeat. I guess it's a process though. You need to reach a point where you hate your colon so much that you can get rid of it without hesitation. It took 7 years for me to get to that point. I hope and pray that sweet nurse didn't see my look of pity while he was caring for me. I could kick myself now.
I believe God brings people into our lives on purpose. This nurse was no exception. I forgot his name, and maybe, that's not what I was supposed to remember from our encounter because I have never forgotten a single word he said to me.
I am very thankful that nurse talked so openly about his ostomy. You have to be tough, thick skinned, and sure of yourself in order to reveal something most people would consider the worst possible thing that could ever happen to them. I am forever grateful. In so many ways his bravery has won my heart and I hope he is doing well and being blessed daily for his courage to step outside the box for others.
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